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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back again.

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[b]OP - I disagree that your mom means well.
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I can understand why your husband said that in a sharp tone if it was about a sentimental item and she's had boundary issues in the past. Also, he doesn't have the support of his wife when it's on her side of the family.

Please try to think of someone constantly undermining you in this way - and your husband not supporting you.

I'm on Team DH. [/quote]

I was just about to type this.  And the fact that you repeatedly stated she "means well" tell me you are also talking to yourself.

What I read about is a person who isn't respecting that she is not in her own home.  Yeah, tidying can be helpful, but you have to earn the right to do something as intimate as anything more than the dishes.  You don't mess with people's stuff when in a house not your own.  It does not sound to me like she has earned the privilege of acting like an intimate.  It does not sound to me like your husband is being respected by you or your mom.

She knew damned well this mug was a favorite, because she sees the kids use it all the time.

Years back, I noticed my mom treating my SIL better than she treated me.  So I started acting more like SIL until my mom started walking on eggshells in my house, too. She is much more respectful of me and my choices.  She's not happy, but I am (and so is my husband)

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Wow , some of you have truly effed up relationships with your mom . When some biddy says your PARENT is not an "intimate"
Geezus Christmas![/quote]

Yes, some of us do, so don't be such a snot.

Why does mom automatically qualify as an "intimate" with her son-in-law?  No reason, really.

And I truly hope you speak English better than you type.[/quote]
  And I hope I have better relationships then you do .
 The fact that you would assume that most people make their parents earn an "intimate" relationship says a lot about you and the quality of your relationships. 
 Yes there are a lot of dysfunctional families and dysfunctional relationship but to assume that that is the default for anyone especially when talking about their relationship with their mother is really sad and that speaks to your mindset .
 And I am really sorry that you feel like a son in law mother-in-law or father-in-law any in law can't be close because a lot of them are .
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