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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Letting the teenager choose who to live with is crappy and selfish. Forcing the poor kid to decide "do you love mommy or daddy best?" is despicable.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

Not really. I had a choice between two horrible parents. I chose the less horrible one to live with.  My mom was a martyr who would put me down all the time and my dad had a destructive narcissistic personality.  My dad fortunately didn't want to pay child support so he kept his temper mostly under control until I graduated from college on scholarship.[/quote]

How does this disprove the point? It proves it perfectly. They made you choose because they were BOTH destructive, narcissistic, and evil.[/quote]

Nope-Living with my mom would have been far far worse.[/quote]

Why are you so dense that you can't understand that what you chose doesn't matter,[i] the fact that your parents made you choose[/i] is what proves they were evil?[/quote]

Perhaps if the parents were both sort of normal it's crappy and selfish.  With my mom I would have suffered total neglect so IT DID MATTER 100%.[/quote]

It is [i]exactly because[/i] your parents were crappy and selfish that they let you choose. [/quote]

Man you have a screw loose. [b]Teen is old enough to know which one of her loser parents she wants to live with[/b].[/quote]

Divorce is difficult for all involved, especially children and teens.  No one sitting on the outside can know the entire situation in regard to the relationship/family dynamics and one solution isn't right for every child/family.  I think that often others making suggestions forget to consider that a divorce didn't just happen at a moment in time.  The children involved have often been living in a less than ideal situation for months or years leading up to the divorce.

On the point of teens deciding...

Teens are not always old enough to know who they want to live with or what is best for them.  Some teens will choose the parent they think "needs" them the most, not the one who will best care for them, some teens will pick the parent they feel will be the most permissive or give them the largest allowance, some will choose based on the location of the house in relation to school/friends, some will pick based on who likes their current boyfriend/girlfriend more, some will pick based on whose house will have the bigger TV or bedroom and many would answer the question differently based on the day asked or recent events.   The most concerning are the teens who won't leave one parent because they worry about the impact it will have on the parent... they don't want mom or dad to be sad and stay with them even though they know the other parent may be more stable/able to provide a positive environment for them.

Frequently the courts will assign a guardian ad litem to help determine and advocate for what is best for the child/children.  Ideally this person would spend time with the child and really get to know all the issues, not just a one hour conversation.  [/quote]

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