Reply to Custody Issue - Pendente Lite VS. Divorce Decree

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - you may want to step back and figure out what truly is better for your daughter.

1. You are not being barred from spending time with her at all. You can't claim you are being driven out. Every other weekend is normal and you need to be prepared to spend your time with her when you have her. You also have visitation during the week just not an overnight.

2. You described yourself as a very involved father. This is nice but you never described yourself as a primary parent. Spending time and bonding with your child is very important but at least one souse and sometimes two takes on the role of caregiver-which means all the not so fun stuff like doctors appointments, school activities, sickness, clothing shopping, finds the summer camps, setting up play dates and activities, etc etc. Think about this one.

3. Too often judges see one parent fight for more time only to later start drawing back on the time they won because they aren't the primary parent. This usually happens with the dads and its very damaging for kids. The kids get dumped because Dad has a date or Dad's new girl friend wants to go out of town. When you don't act like a primary parent, it is easier to set the kids aside and reschedule them. If you are the primary parent, kids come first. Before you fight for more time, you better be sure that you will live up to that commitment.

4. Child support is about making sure the child's needs are met. You seem miffed that your wife makes 100K more than you, yet you have to pay some child support. You probably are realizing that you may not get any alimony. It sounds like you were banking on not paying anything toward your child and possibly getting alimony from your wife.

Make sure that your desire for 50/50 isn't to get your wife to fund you. Judges also see this a lot where one spouse who has never been the primary parent is driven more to acquire more custody to get access to more money. [/quote]

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