Reply to Unfair monetary treatment between me and step-siblings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is the gift card from just your mom or “from Mom and Stepdad”? If from both it is very rude to hand you a $75 gift to share with your DH while siblings open up $1000+ gifts. How awkward. I can’t believe your mom just sits there and is fine with this.[/quote]

You need to read the thread more closely. OP has stated that it's her stepdad's money but "it wouldn't hurt for him to treat her the same financially". So it's clear that she feels entitled to his money but without good reason. People like the OP are the reason why we withhold gifting our biograndkids just because we also dont want to give anything to the non-bio grandkids. I don't know where this bizarre entitlement comes from but as it exists, as shown by OP.
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What is a “non bio grandkid”?[/quote]

I know! She sounds horrid.

They are grandkids. Period.[/quote]

Not really.

I know of several people whose children had stepchildren (I suppose these would be non-bio grandkids). The marriages didn't work out and there was a divorce and despite being "stepgrandparents" for twenty years with regular and generous relationships with the kids, the kids still drifted out of their lives. Divorce does funny things. That's just the reality of it.

I know I certainly wouldn't consider step grandkids in the same light as genuine grandkids.

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Does that apply to kids who were adopted by your bio kids? I’m just curious.  Wondering if the disparity by dh’s Mother is because our kids were adopted or because she’s older than she was with the other grandkids.[/quote]

Blood is thicker than water.

Nonetheless, adoption is different than stepkids. Stepkids or stepgrandkids are just different and not the same as regular ones. The only circumstances I know of where the stepkids/grandkids were as closely embraced as regular kids/grandkids were cases where the parents were both widowed, married each other and the stepsiblings grew up together and the parents remained married for life.

Are you the OP?

If so, I don't think you have any reason or right to expect your stepdad to be as generous to you as he is with his own children. It seems like you didn't grow up with your step siblings, your stepdad wasn't involved in raising you, your mom married him when you were already largely an independent adult. It really is a separate family for most practical purposes. And be honest here, if your stepdad died tomorrow, would you make that much of an effort to keep close ties with your step siblings? Probably not. It's probably best to think of it as aunts/uncles and cousins. Would you expect your aunt/uncle to be as generous to you as they are to their own children? Probably not.

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