Reply to What would you do if your DH or DW gained over 100 lbs during your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to start a new thread but I’m in the same boat.  Is - early 40s and I am fit and exercise, eat healthy and my DW tries but does a horrible job of it.  If I don’t cook, she eats like crap.  We have a 2 YO at home that is a shitty sleeper.  DW is a bit depressed and is about 20 pounds overweight and it’s all in her gut.  She binge eats crappy food, doesn’t exercise despite my attempts to take her to the gym.  Couple that wth having other marital issues, I have zero desire for sex with her.  She scolded me the other day for never wanting to have sex with her (I initiate 100% anyhow).  I didn’t say anything but I’m wondering if I should be brutally honest with her and real talk her or give her a soft landing?[/quote]

Your wife could have diastasis recti (ab separation), which would make it look worse. I suspect this if it is all in her gut. It is very common after pregnancy. I had it with my second. Took me years to finally get it fixed with physical therapy plus weight loss. I finally look like my hot body self from before kids but it literally took me three years after the second kid. She should see a physical therapist to see if that is her problem. [/quote]

I was just about to post about DR, mine is so bad my doctor said I need surgery to see the muscles back together and he gave me some referrals.  [/quote]

Don’t think this is it.  She’s 5’ tall and extra weight either goes to her boobs or her belly.  She had this issue long before pregnancy [/quote]

She probably needs to cut carbs.  Maybe she could try Keto for awhile?  It's actually a pretty flexible diet and you don't miss starches/sugars nearly as much as you would think.  I've lost 20 pounds in 2 months on this diet along with some intermittent fasting.  I've even cheated a bit on the weekends - nothing too drastic.

Go on the diet with her, that'll make it easier for her to stick with it.  Her appetite will stabilize when her blood sugar levels stop going berzerk.

Her energy level will go up dramatically once she starts tapping her own stored energy.  She will probably even want to hit the gym with you - just introduce exercise slowly.  At this point, focus on increasing how many steps you take in a day.  If she was taking 3000 steps a day last week, go for 4000 a day this week.  Then up it until she is taking 8-10K steps every day.

I get steps in just going up and down all the aisles at Walmart and Target.  Good luck to both of you![/quote]

She knows all this but she can’t stop the binging/eating poorly.  In other words, it’s all psychological[/quote]

It's not all psychological.  When your body chemistry is out of whack from too many carbs you have to eat carbs for energy because your body can't efficiently tap it's own fat stores.  You literally feel nauseous if you don't eat something NOW.

She needs to break the cycle or her body will continue this unhealthy relationship with food until she develops diabetes or worse.  She's not "getting it" because what she is feeling physically is very real.  It's not all in her head.  Add on the psychological component of shame/guilt/self hatred...that only compounds the problem.

Ask her if she'd like to be 50 pounds lighter.  If she says "yes", tell her to look at some weight loss stories on youtube.  I think Keto is great because it not only focuses on low carb but also on portion control/calorie deficit and will help her avoid disheartening weight loss stalls.

Maybe you can watch some of the videos and start cooking meals at home for her.

She doesn't yet "get" that this is a medical problem with her body now.  The types of food she is eating are making her sick.[/quote]

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