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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t buy this “men don’t see the mess” of “men don’t care about the mess.”  Pay a cleaner $300 to fully clean your house top to bottom.  I guarantee that he will see what they missed, and he will care.

The question is not “how to make him see it,” but “how to make him see it as his responsibility.”  [/quote]

That's your mission in life, to make him see it is his responsibility, his obligation, [i]to change[/i]? That's messed up in the head. The timing - post wedding - is poor.[/quote]

No.  My mission in life is to try to be as good of a doctor as possible to my patients, and to raise my children into kind, honest, productive adults.

But on this issue, I just want to point out that I am not asking him to change.  He absolutely notices and cares about these things more than I do.  If we are staying at a hotel, and we come back, and his beard trimmings haven’t been cleaned out of the sink, and the bed is sloppily made, he will absolutely be upset.  But at home, if the beard trimmings are in the sink or the bed is sloppily made, he will say that he doesn’t care.  But because of the hotel experience, I know that he does care, and he does see it.  
All I can guess is that he does see it, and doesn’t have the internal dialogue that I do, “Oh, that’s gross.  Who’s job is it to clean that up?  Well, I guess it’s my hair, so that makes it my job.  I had better get that cleaned up before the wife comes home and gets grossed out.”  Instead he has this dialogue,  “oh, that’s gross, someone needs to clean that up.  Who’s job is that?  No ones?  Well, I guess I just have to live with it.  It isn’t that bad.”  [/quote]

Dude. You can't guess what another person's inner dialogue. You need to communicate with him. Nagging isn't communication.

Sit down and have a real conversation with him. Let him know its confusing when he notices messes in a hotel but does nothing about it at home. Discuss setting up an area he can dump his crap.

Be a grown up and talk to him.[/quote]

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