Reply to SO: Thoughts on sister and her DH buying a house with my mother?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will tell you what would probably be suggested in my family. With first a word of context:
1- my parents have been very open about being super equalitarian between siblings and don't consider their assests as "theirs" but the ones of the whole family. my granparents were the same. burning through your own money to enjoy life and not build next gen assets is seen as selfish. We are French, my American husband's family have completely different standards reflected on this board: each generation is entitled to spend the money they earned and expecting an inheritance is not ok. cultural difference i guess
2- I have no idea about what affects Medicaid here. What we do is try to minimize inheritance taxes.

That being said, in your scenario: 
1- My surviving parent would probably downsize to a smaller apartment and share the profit of selling the bigger place between the kids to help downpayment of one and SN kid trust fund of other. 
2- if surviving parent would rather live with one sibling, he/she would sell apartment. Donate 30% of profit to DC kid, 30% to the NY kid for downpayment and keep 40% to pay regular rent in house of the NY kid to contribute to mortgage for the 15-20 years they would hopefully live there (or different % depending on amount of profit made, what the rent would reasonably look like..).
3- Once the parent needs actual care, this doesn't fall on your sibling. You are both on the hook to pay for in house support (your sibling can count her hours, you pay time of the caregivers)
4- This works if you parent as iron clad trust that you will do the best by her which is what my parents would think..[/quote]

And to add: thanks to that type of mentality, my 70 year old parents who are not rich but have saved all their life, including small real estate inheritance from grandparents, were able to help their 3 kids with 200K downpayment on their homes during their lifetime, despite their teacher salaries. But it meant that they have to give away and restrict their own choices. I am happy to plan the same for my kids, I can forego a bigger home for me and enjoy the prospect of seeing my kids able to own a home too.[/quote]

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