Reply to My head and my heart can’t agree on 50/50 custody

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We will have joint legal custody. I have no intention of changing that. I have always wanted 50/50 custody in the summers and for holidays so I’m not paying attention to the people who are telling me to restrict access to the children. That has never been my intention. My ideal situation has the kids with me during the school week and alternating a long weekend with dad (Thurs-Mon) during the school year to give the kids some continuity for school. Then holidays and summers are 50/50. I am not some crazy, unreasonable monster. [/quote]

Hugs to you! As to your original question, I think only time will help you make peace with the new custody arrangement.  You seem eminently rational to me, and like friends who unexepectedly divorced after two decades together with children. (Several different couples, different states.)  Each of the Moms have struggled ... two have found peace, while the third is just counting the days til her youngest is graduating from high school so that she can then leave the DC area. (Ex-husband tying her here, so four more years to go.)

Most of the districts in this area have mediation before it would go to court. Why not go in and ask for the split you've suggested above? Worst case scenario, he doesn't agree, and then you end up with the week on, week off schedule. But at least then you might have some leverage as you had to move away from your original position.

Not sure how old your kid(s) are, but the scenario of having one parent having primary physical custody with alternating long weekends is what has worked successfully for my friends. (kids in upper elementary, middle and high school).

The upshot, however long it takes to get there, is that the kids will hopefully have a more inolved Dad, and a less stressed Mom.[/quote]

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