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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently found out that my boyfriend of 3 years is still supporting his ex- wife. The support is not court ordered. He pays child support and supplements the mortgage on the home they had together. He often pays for outside activities.  The child support will end soon.

I make significantly more than him and hr has asked for money in the past. I didn't mind sharing to an extent but when I found out that he is still supporting her, I was shocked.  She will not get a better job. I am afraid that he will continue to justify doing this when the kids are in college. If we get married, I am also afraid he will use our combined income to live.[/quote]

He sounds like a decent person. [/quote]Yes, except that they've been together for three years and she only recently found out about this.  Huge red flag.[/quote]

I dated my now husband for almost 10 years and didn't feel the need to tell him how I spent my money.  He shouldn't have to disclose to his GF how he spends his paycheck.  It's none of her business. [/quote]I disagree.  If you're making a life together, your partner/spouse should know that you're spending your money on an ex.  Especially if they're borrowing money from you.  But if you're only casually dating, no, it's not the other person's business.

Were you supporting an ex, pp?  If so, your then-boyfriend should have been told so that he can decide whether he wants to marry you when you have those outside commitments.  He might still want to but it's only fair for him to have full information before committing himself to a long-term relationship.  I can't imagine going forward with a committed relationship without letting my partner know that I have an expensive outside commitment.  I'd probably be cool with my partner supporting his former family.  I would not be cool with having that fact hidden from me.[/quote]

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