Reply to Boyfriend still supporting ex-wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently found out that my boyfriend of 3 years is still supporting his ex- wife. The support is not court ordered. He pays child support and supplements the mortgage on the home they had together. He often pays for outside activities.  The child support will end soon.

I make significantly more than him and hr has asked for money in the past. I didn't mind sharing to an extent but when I found out that he is still supporting her, I was shocked.  She will not get a better job. I am afraid that he will continue to justify doing this when the kids are in college. If we get married, I am also afraid he will use our combined income to live.[/quote]

He sounds like a decent person. [/quote]Yes, except that they've been together for three years and she only recently found out about this.  Huge red flag.[/quote]

I dated my now husband for almost 10 years and didn't feel the need to tell him how I spent my money.  He shouldn't have to disclose to his GF how he spends his paycheck.  It's none of her business. [/quote]
If he asks her for money, it is her business why he needs it.[/quote]

I don't think that is the issue here though.  She doesn't have to give him money.  It's as simple as that.  But nothing kills a relationship faster than the new partner dictating how and how much you spend on your kids.[/quote]
She said that it was an issue because he was asking for money. Why do you chose not to believe that? [/quote]

Because her title doesn't say "boyfriend asking me for money."  It says "boyfriend still supporting ex-wife" which is the real issue.  She views it as him supporting his ex wife and not his kids.  Why do you choose to not see the real issue?[/quote]
Boyfriend is supporting the ex. He pays her bill's and asks OP to pay his. She was previously unaware how much he paid for the ex and gave him money when he asked. She now sees that he is using her to subsidize his payments to his ex. She doesn't want to be used in that way. If you want to be a pushover, go for it, but I'm with OP. She has no obligation to his ex wife. [/quote]

Literally no one said OP has an obligation to his ex wife.  He does, however, have an obligation to his children.  As many decent men do, he probably wants them to stay in the house that they know in the schools where they've been prior to divorce.  Even I said, he is probably not for her since she doesn't get what he is going.  She should break it off and find someone more suitable for her.[/quote]

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