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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences. 
[/quote]

How do you know Sidney’s parents weren’t emotionally abusive? Blatant favoritism certainly isn’t healthy, and can definitely be abusive. [/quote]

Omg not every imperfect parenting decision is “abusive.”

We live in a society where the young people feel so empowered to discard blood mothers fathers and siblings. If you don’t have loyalty to your blood relatives who can you possibly have loyalty to? We are rotting from the inside. It’s asinine that this selfish toxic behavior is applauded and seen as the norm.

If your 60+ mother says something awkward, be a grown up, put on your big girl pants and show her some grace and kindness. It’s your freaking mother!!she cleaned your poop and fed you and dealt with you being a teen monster. You’re so perfect that you don’t have the patience to show some kindness? [/quote]

I was disowned in 2008 by my mother and father for falling in love with someone who is an AA man or in her words "a filthy n-word". My mother cleaned by poop and feed me and dealt with me being a teen monster.  She said that I was bringing embarrassment upon her by loving a n-word.   If fact when I told her about him during my visit home after dinner, she immediately threw all of my things on the lawn and told me to get out and never return.  I saw her again once at a funeral and she refused to even be in the same room as me during the lunch after.

So I ask you, why was she not patient and showing kindness to me?  She's supposed to love me unconditionally right?

Also don't assume it is always the young person who does the cutting off.  People always that it was I who broke it off, but alas no.  She broke it off.  And, I was always a good kid, honor roll, ivy league, never in trouble, total nerd, etc.  I never thought life would shake out this way.  I've heard through the family grapevine she tells people that I'm addicted to drugs because that's the only way I could be in love with and married to my DH, and that our children must be crack babies living in poverty - we are both doctors who met in med school, so life is opposite.

But honestly, why do you think it's just the younger generation breaking things off?  
[/quote]

I'm so sorry to hear that. That is awful. :( Your case is obviously not cutting off family for "no reason."

Since she cut you off without giving you a chance to demonstrate the validity of your new love, thats on her. She is the crazy person cutting off family.[/quote]

I guess I should have added that I also heard that she tells others I cut her off for no reason.   Then it goes into the assumption that I have drug and mental health issues that lead to the no reason cutting off.

Reality is that she has mental health issues.  She is the reason that I became a psychiatrist as the mind has always puzzled me.

My argument is that there is ALWAYS a reason.  You also might not get the true story or alternative facts.  Or, in my case I don't tell others that I know are busy-bodies and will spread more gossip.  My brother tried on my behalf years ago, which backfired as it totally meant I was on drugs if someone is saying they aren't.  There is already enough, very untrue gossip floating around.  It is just better to stay way from the situation.  [/quote]

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