Reply to 3 year old son constantly hurts little brother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

We will not spank or hit him. We talk all the time about how “family doesn’t hurt each other”. It doesn’t make sense to hit him and then tell him he cannot hit his brother.

I do react, usually by yelling. I get really upset and cry and beg him to stop hurting brother. He usually starts to cry and reaches for a hug and consolation, and I feel awful. It’s not working.

[/quote]

Yikes!

Okay, I'm with you 100% on the no spanking.

But, your response is an overreaction and is giving him the attention he deserves, but with NO consequences.

Based on reading this, your DS is literally begging you for limits and to parent him.

I'm one of the Janet Lansbury PPs, and here's something to try:

Next time DS1 is aggressive towards DS2, show no emotion.  Calmly say to DS1 something like: "I won't tolerate you hitting your brother.  You're showing me that you're having a hard time controlling yourself, so I'm going to need to separate you for a while.  Go to your room for a few minutes to calm down, and I'll come get you in 5 minutes."

Yes, it's effectively the same thing as a time out, but I do think the explanation sorta helps.[/quote]

I do agree he needs limits. Im shocked that I’m stumped. I was a teacher, a really good one, but this is different and it sucks.[/quote]

I like Janet Lansbury and have similar aged kids. When my 3 year old gets rough I try and stay unruffled but he is moved to a separate place in the house and he is told why. I (try) and head things off before they get to that place, and I don't ever leave them alone. Annoying but your son has made it clear he isnt ready for that so stop doing it![/quote]

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