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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am in a very similar situation. 40+, married 18 years, last two years have been awful. No sex, no affection, no companionship. Basically, cohabiting coparents of our two elementary school kids. I haven't been cheating, but she isn't even interested enough to ask. It isn't her business at this point, though I might not say so. Like you, I love my kids, want to keep living under the same roof, and don't want to inflict pain on them. (In fact, not wanting to hurt them is the only thing that has kept me in the marriage for the past two years.) I also think I'm not ready to give up on having sex or affection for the rest of my life.

I am just not an "open marriage" kind of person. I don't think my wife is either. She would probably overcome her indifference to me enough to resent that, but not enough to start having sex with me again. And what am I gonna do, tell her that every Friday night she needs to watch the kids so I can go on Tinder dates? Awkward. Also, if I found an AP who was giving me sex and affection, I'd want to dump the wife for the AP. If divorce is inevitable anyway, why not do it now? Finally, that's a weird-ass thing to model for the kids. "Oh, mommy and daddy don't sleep with each other, just with other people."

Most of the other posters don't appreciate how tough it is to pull the plug on a low-conflict marriage where the kids are happy and successful. But nothing is going to change if I don't. I suspect the same is true for you. Do you really want to get out of bed a year... five years... ten years from now, and find yourself in the exact same situation? At some point you either have to sht or get off the pot.[/quote]

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