Reply to Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't

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Reply to "Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. Wow, the posters here are vapid.

OP, if you're still reading, I'm a wife who would personally hate living in a big city and yet I agree with you. You were up front from the beginning (and consistent throughout) about not wanting to move to her hometown. She accepted that and even assured you that she was in the city for herself, not for you, so you didn't even have the chance to think whether you really wanted to put her in a position where she'd have to make a choice between you and what she really wanted. Three years is a enough time to live somewhere that you could be reasonably sure that she really was living there for herself and not for you, before you decided to settle with her and had kids.

And now she wants to flip the switch and uproot the family (not just you but also the kids) to go do the exact opposite thing to what she agreed on. That's not reasonable. It's very unfair to you, and depending on your kids (their needs, personalities, interests, friendships, etc) it may be very unfair to them too. On the other hand, maybe it's the best thing for the kids. Only you can know that.

Personally, I think the "compromise" in this situation is to look around and choose another town altogether that would be new to both of you and that you both genuinely think would be a great place to raise the kids and that you BOTH are excited about starting a new chapter of your lives in, and consider that. You are not obligated at all to move to her small hometown.
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I really don't understand your suggestion. Are you one of those people who creates a new last name to avoid choosing one last name over another?

She wants to move to be near her family. Period. [/quote]

He made it clear, 100% non-ambiguous and non-negotiable, from the very beginning, that he was not interested in moving to her dinky hometown. He was not, and was never going to, put up with living there for her. She assured him that his definition of happiness was her definition of happiness, and that she's happy to stay in the city. She can't then turn around and say that she's unhappy, and demand that he be unhappy so that she can be happy. Not when she's the one breaking their contract. Assuming that he can continue to make the same income somewhere else (since it seems like she's pretty happy to continue using the $$$ he earns) then the best she can hope for, and the most that's reasonable, is for her to make a proposal for them to move to another town/city that they'd both enjoy.[/quote]

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