Reply to my wife's thin skin

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Practical advice:

If you hate being wrong, look at that more carefully. You don't have to embrace being wrong, but in a relationship, you have to be okay with not ending every discussion being right.

It's better to collaborate than compromise. Remember you are on the same team.

[/quote]

I hate the lack of real dialogue. There is no opportunity to be "wrong" in this relationship, because being right or wrong first requires a dialogue or a discussion or a debate, and this isn't possible. A discussion requires an exchange of ideas, and I can't offer an idea that conflicts with hers without fear of shutting the entire discussion down.

"Team" -- yes, that is what I want. But how can I form a team with a teammate who bristles when we try to pass the ball back and forth? And how much praise does one need to heap on a teammate simply in order to get them to take the field? I offer my teammate a normal amount of praise, I think, relative to the other marriages I see around me. It doesn't help.

This is like trying to build a machine in which the gears are not permitted to bump against each other. It isn't possible. There is a certain amount of contact that has to take place. Greasing the gears hasn't helped. The machine seizes up the moment the gears try to move.

[/quote]

You say this, but you also say that you recently moved.  How did you two decide on what city to live in, what house to buy, etc.?  You also have children.  How did you decide how many to have?  What school to send them to, etc.?

Really, if you planned a move with children together, and your biggest problem is that you didn’t like a chair that she picked out and she got angry, then you don’t have that big of a communication problem.  [/quote]

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