Reply to my wife's thin skin

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Practical advice:

If you hate being wrong, look at that more carefully. You don't have to embrace being wrong, but in a relationship, you have to be okay with not ending every discussion being right.

It's better to collaborate than compromise. Remember you are on the same team.

[/quote]

I hate the lack of real dialogue. There is no opportunity to be "wrong" in this relationship, because being right or wrong first requires a dialogue or a discussion or a debate, and this isn't possible. A discussion requires an exchange of ideas, and I can't offer an idea that conflicts with hers without fear of shutting the entire discussion down.

"Team" -- yes, that is what I want. But how can I form a team with a teammate who bristles when we try to pass the ball back and forth? And how much praise does one need to heap on a teammate simply in order to get them to take the field? I offer my teammate a normal amount of praise, I think, relative to the other marriages I see around me. It doesn't help.

This is like trying to build a machine in which the gears are not permitted to bump against each other. It isn't possible. There is a certain amount of contact that has to take place. Greasing the gears hasn't helped. The machine seizes up the moment the gears try to move.
[/quote]

So what happened when you set up a couples counselling appointment?

If she wouldn't go, what did the therapist tell you when you went to individual counselling on your own?[/quote]

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