Reply to DCUM- you're my only hope. Well...no but here I am anyway.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, a few items.  If you are serious about suicide, as some responded, you need to get help ASAP. 1st issue to address. 
Next, it seems your kids have a low priority, and I say that to you both, as a couple.  Earning money is important, but so is trying to be there for your kids.  That is a 2-parent job(actually, it might be even more than that!).  Think carefully about the effects of moving, divorcing, or, whatever you two decide to do.  They seem low on your list of concerns. 
Yup, I believe you, your husband sounds like a nice guy, and, has scored a dream job. I would love to still be doing some of the crazy and fun summer jobs and internships I had...and not a care in the world.  Then I grew up.  Seems it is time for your DH to do the same.  He is presently living in dream land.  At some point, if he is out so much, and traveling so much, his hourly pay is probably like $20 an hour. Newsflash: he could get that working at McDonald's, doing 40 hours a week, and, then be home and around to help.  If he is not willing to do that, you have some difficult choices to make. [/quote]
OP:

That was a couple of months ago. I'm pretty much over that because I'm sure he won't be around to actually care for the kids at this point. Because, you know: he's never around. But you know what's funny? I told him I was really upset and suicidal and he looked at me and told me he had to go to work. That was it. Like I was being emotional and irrational and to get over it. And then he got mad at me when I refused to talk to him for thee days.

My kids are my top priority. That's why I work at home and I spend a lot of time making sure they're healthy and happy. He does not do this. He plays golf before doing anything with the kids. Or he does laundry. It's a really hard juggling act for both of us.

I think the general consensus here is that he needs to get a new job. But it's just.... I don't know how to tell him that. I just don't want to be that person because [b]how can I tell my kids to follow their dreams when I don't even want him to do the same?
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I mean...you don't.  And you shouldn't.  "Follow your dreams at all costs, including to those around you" is terrible advice.  Tell your kids to build lives they can be proud of.  Finding work they love can be part of that, but they also need to handle their shit and be a support system for the people they love (and other things as well, all that jazz).  Your husband is absolutely not doing that.  You don't tell him he needs to get a new job.  You tell him that life as it currently exists will not be continuing, but the kind of change will depend on him.  He can either (A) get a new job or (B) divorce.

Or, and I think this is the better call, you just divorce him.  Because if he can't be selfless enough to look around and see that the cost of his happiness is absolutely unsustainable, then he will be deeply resentful of you even if he does change jobs, and honestly, would you really want to be with someone who has to be browbeat into caring about their spouse's suicidal thoughts?[/quote]

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