Reply to Why is it that the higher up you go in the social ladder, the more enforced gender norms are?

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Reply to "Why is it that the higher up you go in the social ladder, the more enforced gender norms are?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if this is about class and gender roles or more so that "merger" couples (i.e. met at the law firm, med school, or when both were already somewhat accomplished professionally) have trouble sustaining two "big" jobs when they have kids. I've read interesting data that more high earning individuals are marrying other high earning individuals (versus when people got married earlier) and in those circumstances, sometimes one has to scale back or step out when they have kids. Because of, ya know, biology, sometimes its the mom b/c multiple maternity leaves was going to stall her career anyway.

I think if the phenomenon the OP is noticing were a devotion to traditional gender roles you would see this division of labor happen earlier, but I don't know many UMC/UC women who left the workforce upon getting engaged or before having children (which my mother and grandmothers did). Instead I think it's the reality that most families can't make two high-intensity jobs work, and people in high-intensity, high-status jobs marry other people with big jobs. [/quote]

I agree.

Here is how the dynamic plays out. 
Kids start full-time school, kids are in different schools due to age differences, have different sports or music classes after school, the family schedule and logistics explode, one kid starts crying out for attention or having trouble reading or doing math, parents struggle with how to handle this, can't outsource it to tutors or a nanny or au pair, you have more than one kid so Mom can't help both at the same time while spouse is at office until 7pm most days. Mom quits to run the household and help the kids. Husband keeps digging in at the office, or hospital, or law firm, etc. Hopefully he appreciates his SAHW who does everything to keep the family from derailing.

Having only 1 kid would be manageable, but after 2, not so much. [/quote]

I agree. This happened to our family. However, I will admit that it makes me very uncomfortable as I realize it is a super traditional arrangement and I consider myself a feminist. Those two things are hard, if not impossible, to reconcile. And because I have so much free time during the day, I spend more time working out and on my appearance than I was when I was working full time and had less time.

Isn't this exactly what the OP is talking about?[/quote]

Seems to me that men still don't understand how to RAISE a child nor RUN a household. Until they realize that, it's all downhill.

Raising a child is not horse-play for 30 minutes at 7pm.

Running a household is not merely putting the garbage cans out once a week when reminded.

This will take 1 or 2 more generations to eradicated the cluelessness. Meanwhile, if YOU are raising YOUR SONS to expect mommy or nanny or whatever female is in the house to do everything, YOU are a major part of the problem. Think about it, how many of your Mom or Dad friends hope their sonny boy will "marry a nice, kind lady who takes care of him, the kids and the house."  No 50/50 partnership there. [/quote]

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