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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You haven't been home in a year and now this pregnancy/baby will mean it'll be even longer before you'll all go home to visit, they can see the kids, etc. It's not unreasonable to not want to travel for this wedding given the timing, but it would have been nice if you'd made an anticipatory trip home while travel was still manageable. Yes, too late for that now, but might be worth acknowledging to them and figuring out when you might finally feel ready to make a family trip so they know you're not just blowing them off.[/quote]

PP, that's quite a guilt trip you're laying on OP.

OP, I've gotten a very similar guilt trip from my own mother (who is the one who moved overseas in our case). You and your family are allowed to choose your jobs and home just like everyone else in your lives. Just because you live further away doesn't mean you're a bad family member, not interested in your relatives' lives, etc. etc. You describe a very long journey with very young children, and that's without any delays, which we all know can happen. It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page about not traveling for this wedding, and that's your choice. Don't let others (especially ones who haven't made the trip and don't know what you're in for!) tell you that you owe them this or any other trip that doesn't work for you. [/quote]

It isn't a guilt trip to point out that someone is not the center of the universe and should be willing to extend a little effort if they want to stay connected with people.[/quote]

Huh ... well then maybe the BIL shouldn't have made it a kid-free wedding!

I can't imagine EVER holding it against a relative who decides not to travel from overseas with a newborn, much less with a newborn, 2 yr old, and 4 year old. What is wrong with you??[/quote]

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