Reply to Husband overseas/deployed- my role with inlaws?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you are getting crap advice on this thread.  YOU are the one who is a single parent; YOU are the one who is missing your husband; THEY are the ones who should be calling you asking if you need anything or how they can help.  Between kids, the kids schedules, the house, the dogs, my job, and keeping my children stable and secure with their father gone, I, personally, could not handle one more person asking me to do one more thing.

Your in-laws are grown ups with far less on their plate.  They should step up and ask you what you need and how they can help you.  They should do the calling and make sure you know that this is now their responsibility.  My parents do and so do my in-laws.  [/quote]

Yes but I think it depends on OP's prior interactions with the in-laws. The only reason OP knows they are "upset" is that SIL went and told her they are. Otherwise, OP would not have known. Is this because they have learned from past experience not to express their wish/desire to see the grandkids more b/c OP will snap at them and say she doesn't have the "bandwidth" to put one more thing on her plate? So maybe they decided to just suck it up and not bother her about it directly since her reply last time was "take them then! They'll like that better than daycare!" rather than arranging to visit the grandparents.--and they were just venting to SIL. 
Maybe SIL thought it would be a good idea to sort of be a go-between, but instead of taking the hint, OP just got mad that the ILs said anything to SIL! Essentially, this is sort of a no-win for the Inlaws because if they say they'd like to see the grandkids or help out, OP sounds like she will feel overwhelmed with this and treat it as ONE MORE THING she has to coordinate.
OP has a lot of responsibilities...that is clear, and no one is disputing that.[b] It's a shame, but for whatever reason, keeping the connection between the kids and grandparents is not on the top of OP's priority list[/b].
[/quote]

Ugh.  It's OK when your husband is deployed to hunker down and go into survival mode.  This means the OP's priority is her own sanity and well-being and, yes, it's OK if keeping the connection with grandparents is not at the top of her priority.  Deployments are temporary and her husband can re-establish the connection when he returns.  Right now OP's priority should be OP. Don't try to add guilt on top of an already crappy situation. [/quote]

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