Reply to Planning to leave my husband once our youngest starts college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Can anyone here understand what it’s like when a man uses money to treat you like a child? He sees it as protecting me and giving me a comfortable life. I know that. I know he thinks we have a great marriage but that’s because he almost never looks at things from my perspective. I see now that he treats me like a child - it’s a form of control and I see that I allowed myself to be stunted.[/quote]
While I sympathize with you, if you don’t take the money there is a very good chance that you won’t have enough to retire on and will end up burdening your children down the line. You want to start over like you are in your 20s but you need to accept that that time in your life is gone. Mourn that fact if you need to but it is what it is. [/quote]

And don't assume that your kids will be on your side.  [b]If you run out as soon as they are out of the house, you are going to really mess them up.[/b]  The people I know most devastated by their parents divorces were people who went off to college and then their parents split up.  It was like they turned their back for a second and their home vanished, and they felt like their entire childhood was a lie.  If your husband isn't abusive or cheating, and you tell your kids you ran off to "start my life over and live on my own terms," because you wanted to "be selfish" and pretend like you were in your 20s again -- well, they will likely agree that you are being selfish.

You say you want to "completely burn it down."  There is no way to do that and not get singed yourself.  [/quote]

Especially if they haven't had a hint of this, and it's as much a surprise to them as you hope it will be to your husband.  [/quote]

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