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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We named him Theodore. We call him either that or Theo.  MIL keeps calling him Ted. He doesn't acknowledge because "that's not my name!" and she gets upset. She wants us to punish DS for this. We refuse.  DH has explained this to her. Her husband has explained this.  DS has explained he wants to be called Theodore or Theo.  This has been going on FOUR YEARS.  We asked DS if he would enjoy having a special name only his grandma calls him, that's Ted.  "No, I don't like that name. She can call me Theo or Theodore or Sweetie-pie."  We told MIL we tried, and he was not interested.

She does not call him sweetie-pie like she does the other grandkids because she is angry at him for not replying to Ted.  FIL is an awesome grandparent.  He feels caught in the middle and mouths apologies when she calls DS Ted, and has taken to repeating any instruction she gives, with the switch to his name.

MIL: Ted, bring me my purse
FIL: Theo, please get Granny's purse; she needs something in there.

We're at a point now where he doesn't like her, and she doesn't like him, all over this name thing.  We asked DS if he could put up with being called Ted by one stubborn old lady once or twice a month.  He said he'd think about it, but came back with a firm no.  DS loves FIL though, and [b]we have insisted he be polite to MIL. [/b] She calls all the other grandchildren the right names.  Is there any solution to this other than waiting for her to die?  
[/quote]

I mean this sincerely - why?  I get that politeness is expected at all times, yada yada yada - but this is a woman who is repeatedly ignoring his wishes and calling him a name that he, and others have asked her multiple times to refrain from using.  She's being incredibly rude to him, and she's got no basis to expect politeness in return.  Frankly, I'd consider telling him the next time she calls him Ted, he should respond with, "OK, Granny Bitch."  She'll have a meltdown, of course - but do you have a better word to describe her behavior?  I don't.

OK, OK, I know you won't do that, and I probably wouldn't either.  [b]But I would absolutely stop enforcing politeness with respect to her.  That's how kid turn into doormats[/b] - by being forced to be nice to people who treat them like crap.  And if she, or your FIL, corrects him, I'd step in and say something like "this is the inevitable consequence of your actions, MIL, and we're not going to insist that he be polite to you when you show such little regard for him."[/quote]

Permitting rude behavior towards an adult/family member doesn't make a kid an anti-doormat, it makes him rude.  [/quote]

Perhaps, but I wouldn't really care.  You reap what you sow.  [/quote]

Grandma started it!   :lol: [/quote]

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