Reply to MIL mad that we want to host Thanksgiving

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, did you discuss this idea with MIL in advance, or did you issue invitations at the same time to everyone at once, including your MIL? Was she surprised by this invitation?

I think that when someone has had everyone to their house for a particular holiday every year for a number of years, it makes sense to check in with them ahead of time with a suggestion of a change. By sending out invitations so far ahead of time, it looks as though you are trying to get so far ahead of the curve that no one else could possibly invite anyone before you.

If you did let her know before inviting her or anyone else, good for you for being courteous. If not, and you just sent out invitations really early to get a jump on her to make sure she couldn't possibly invite the others first, then she probably feels pretty blindsided and hurt. 
[/quote]

OP here. DH called her and told her we are hosting, she and friends are welcome. More than two weeks later, we emailed the other guests. BIL and SIL for years have wanted to mix it up. Others seem less invested, happy to go wherever there’s turkey and pie. She was noncommittal during the first call, then seemed put out in the email weeks later.[/quote]

And you let them know you would be sending out invitations in April?
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I'm not sure what you mean. We emailed them to let them know we were hosting, and they were welcome to come. AFTER DH called MIL to let her know that we were hosting, and both she and her friends are welcome to come.[/quote]

OP, ignore PP.  People who don't deal with ILs who hoard holiday hosting don't get it.  My MIL approaches us about hosting holidays several months before and then is mad when we refuse to engage months ahead of time. [/quote]

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