Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous]You actually sound thoughtful and well-reasoned to me, and like you are invested in supporting her.

I think the advice to lead with saying you miss your connection as a couple, and as a family, is the way to go. Tell her your proud of her devotion to work, and glad that after sacrificing for your family, she’s found something she’s passionate about. Recognize that there’s a lot on her plate (she’s likely still doing a lot for your family that you don’t immediately realize, like coordinating logistics or being the emotional touchstone, and that sh$t can wear on a person). Then tell her what you’re struggling with, emphasizing that you really value your relationship and family time, and the impact on that has been harder on you than you anticipated. Ask her is room for any changes to help with that. Have some suggestions ready (regularly home for some weeknight dinners, date night, sex 2x a week - suggesting aiming for a particular day). Ask what you might do to make those things easier for you. Make it a serious conversation, so she really knows you’re struggling, but approach it in a non-accusatory manner and more of a joint-problem-solving exercise. If necessary, give her time to think about what you’ve presented and set a time to follow up.

I’m a woman, and hear you on the sex. If you’re not going to be around to talk to me much, a little physical intimacy will go a long way to make me feel like a valued partner. DH and I are also in a place where it’s only happening weekly bc we are both tired and preoccupied during the week, but I’m about to have a similar conversation asking if we can prioritize some couple time at least once mid-week. [/quote]

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