Reply to s/o what is the solution to lack of desire?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He tells me about his day too so it's not really one-sided.  I am sharing my experience that I've had selfless sex with DH for a couple of years, and it killed any sexual feeling I had toward him.  That's why I don't do it any more. I don't want to lose the desire to have sex with him, and I know I will if I compel myself toward sex.  That's me. [/quote]

I never suggested that your sharing was one-sided. Only that I suspect your NEED for this particular activity far exceeds his, as per the gender norm. If not, then certainly there are SOME needs of yours which he just meets purely out of love for you? It would really be a miracle if his needs perfectly matched every one of yours (aside from sex). Likewise, I would hope your sex is not one-sided either?

My point is that, if a partner has established needs that are important to him/her, and these needs were being met while dating and well into marriage, it is very unloving to stop meeting those needs later on down the road, simply because your own personal need may have decreased. It is selfish to say you only will do something if YOU have this exact same need, especially when it was YOU who changed (not him).[/quote]

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