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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy here.  Relationships can be tough and by all the posts on DCUM alone, this is not a simple issue to resolve.  I think it can be hard for a woman to maintain sexual attraction for a guy over the long term.  There are tons of issues that exacerbate this including her own body image, how stressed/busy she is, resentment towards you, how much sleep she gets, how tired , what meds she might be on, etc.

One thing that I don’t see mentioned out here is bluntly this:  If you want sex you need to be someone a woman would want to f*ck.  I’m certainly not saying you aren’t but on the spectrum of “Fat middle aged guy” to “Romance Novel cover model” you should strive to be closer to the latter.

In being someone a woman would want sex with I would suggest the following if you’re not doing it already:

Hire a trainer/nutrionist and build a strong healthy body(add muscle and lean out).  Your wife will be more attracted to you and you’ll be more confident.

Address any hygene issues and learn how to dress.

Fix any performance issues in the bedroom.  If you have PE or ED go see a urologist - they deal with this stuff all the time.

If your wife never O’s or has to fake it when you are together - fix that too.  There are tutorial videos online on how to be great at oral.  You could also introduce toys to make sure she gets across the finish line every time.

- Address any issues that may be causing resentment such as household work split, financial problems or parenting, etc.

If this doesn’t make sex more frequent you’ll have a huge headstart on your next relationship.

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OP - There's always room for improvement, but honestly none of this seems like the root of our problem. I'm 6 feet, 165#, about 16% body fat, can run a half-marathon in under two hours. I've got a functional, above average sized penis. I do my level best to get her to the finish line every time (a long massage followed by oral seems to be the most reliable). I'm a white collar professional, shower, shave, and dress in a suit and tie every day. We have a cleaning lady, the finances are solid, the kids & I love spending time together.

I say this not to pretend I'm perfect. If she was complaining about something, I'd address it. But the obvious stuff seems to be in place, and so I figure I can trust her when she says it's her, not me. She has cited her own body-image issues. I doubt the body-image helps, but I also suspect that even if she got to whatever her goal weight is, she'd probably still not have a great interest in sex. [/quote]

OP, very few responses have been about you specifically. Just people rambling about their experiences and various generalities about gender.

In your specific case, I doubt there is much you can do to get things to change.  You seem supportive of your wife. Just the fact that she has shared this with you and is willing to go to therapy shows that she wants things to improve, which I hope you can take some comfort in.

Things may improve with time but that most likely will not.

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