Reply to Is this passive aggressive or am I being super grouchy and sensitive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My fiance is very frugal with money.  I get that.  I am a woman who believes in paying for myself when I'm on dates so I always have.  [b]It used to bug the heck out of me when he would ask me to share something every time we went out even though he knew I would pay for myself[/b]. RED FLAG  [b]I just want to be able to have a nice meal and get what I want to get without worrying if he is also going to like what I'm getting[/b]. RED FLAG [b] He harped and harped on me buying a $500 treadmill[/b]. RED FLAG  I lost 70 lbs and used the thing every day for the past 2 years.  Now I'm trying to make room for him to move in after we get married so I mentioned getting rid of it to make room for his stuff.  [b]He, again mentioned that I could have just used the gym in the building and it's a shame[/b]. RED FLAG  I would have never lost the weight and gotten in shape because I couldn't leave my son alone at home.

Fast forward to now, my son is in therapy once a week.  Therapy is working and he very much needed it.  It's not easy for me to afford it but I know my son really needs this so I'm sucking it up.  [b]He hasn't come out and openly said it's a waste of money, but I know enough about him to know that's what he is thinking[/b]. RED FLAG  I just texted him to say the therapist asked if we could come in today instead of our regular Thursday this week so that what I'm doing tonight.  [b]His response was "oh, do you think you should skip this week since you were just there Thursday?[/b]" RED FLAG

I already told him that we are not merging out money when we get married.  [b]I know this will be a great cause of friction[/b]. RED FLAG  [b]He still lives like a 20 year old and just doesn't spend money on anything other than food[/b]. RED FLAG  I just need to make sure I'm not being overly sensitive.  [b]He makes little comments like "when will he be done with therapy?  How do you know it's working?[/b]" RED FLAG  I just need him to not manage my money for me.  I have made it 40 years just fine on my own (no support from parents whatsoever) and[b] I don't need a daddy (he gets very hurt when I say that)[/b]. RED FLAG

OK I realize I sound ridiculous too, but writing this out made me feel better. [/quote]

See all the red flags above.  Take your post to a therapist and let them read it.  I'd be shocked if they don't counsel you to do some serious thinking before you marry this guy.[/quote]

I disagree.  Buying a treadmill is wasteful when you have a gym in your building.  If you’re burdened by therapy costs, why buy a $500 treadmill.  OP may have a spending problem.  [/quote]
No it's not, especially if you aren't going to take advantage of the gym. She took advantage of the treadmill and lost a huge amount of weight while not having to worry about leaving her son unsupervised so it was worth it to her. The treadmill purchase wasn't a sign of overspending, it was a sign of knowing herself well enough to know what would work for her.[/quote]

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