Reply to I want my parents to get rid of junk so I don’t have to!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents are the opposite. I moved out of their house when I was 19 and could take only a couple of bags with me because I moved by train (it wasn't in the U.S.) Immediately after I left, they through away or donated the stuff I left behind - my clothes, my childhood collections, the notebooks with the poems and short stories I wrote, my school report cards, all of the Christmas toys, etc. I still can't understand that and fully forgive them, but they see no wrong in what they did. They don't care about anything that belonged to their parents or children. I guess all of those things were just clutter to them that they had to dispose of. They don't have much stuff of their own either - easily dispose of it too.[/quote]

Sounds like you and your parents have different styles of being in the world. If you have your own kids, this might be a good conversation to have as they are approaching the age to leave the house.

It's always good to remember that love for a person isn't equivalent to attachment to their items, although some people express and understand love that way, too. It's hard if you expect to be loved in a way that isn't the way those you are intimate with express love.[/quote] I have 2 teenage kids and don't intend to throw away their stuff without asking them first. There was plenty of space where my parents could have moved my stuff if they didn't want it on a particular shelve. There was no necessity to throw it away. My parents are not attached to people in exactly the same manner that they are not attached to things - they don't care if they don't see their children and grandchildren for years, don't miss them at all. [/quote]

Are you willing to hear that they do not want you to keep things, even if they were gifts from you? Even if your kids keep things now, they may come to a sea change and value the objects less.

Be ready for it, if it happens. It doesn't necessitate that they don't love you, even if they don't have problems parting with items you expect them to value.[/quote]

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