Reply to Would You Be Sad If You Ex-husband Died?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husbands ex would be only because she gets a life long portion of his military retirement and it is her only income.  She loses it upon his death.  He could not care less and hopes never to see or talk to her again. [/quote]

To be eligible for a portion of his military retirement pay, they would have had to have been married for a minimum of 20 years, of which 20 years had to coincide with his military service. That's a long marriage- and if there are kids, deployments and frequent moves make life much more complicated than it is for the average civilian family that stays in one place. In addition, it has historically been difficult for spouses to grow and maintain careers with the frequent required moves, especially during the years when this marriage must have occurred.

Did you marry your husband after he retired from active duty service? If so, you really haven't experienced what it's like to be a young military spouse all alone with kids for long periods of time with no way to set up a decent career for yourself. It can't hurt to have kinder thoughts toward your husband's ex, who put up with the tough early years of his career.

(Also, I'm very surprised that their divorce agreement did not require him to set up his retirement pay so that she would continue to get a portion after his death, or be  a beneficiary of life insurance.)
[/quote]

Not true, its 10 years to be eligible in some states (at least when they were married).  She dragged out the divorce to get to the 10 year mark.  He was gone for one year but came home every few months.  During that year she took up with his best friend and both couples divorced their spouses to be together.  She didn't have long deployments, frequent moves and all the stuff you are thinking.

I was with my husband for several years before retirement and we were separated for two years.  I was separated from him longer than she was so no empathy.  She did nothing for his career and refused to work so he often worked two jobs just to have enough money.  So, if she wants to complain about him working two jobs, they easily could have used base day care and she could have worked.  (and if that happened he could have gotten his education and much more).

She treated him horribly.  She cheated on him, took the kids and made it very difficult for him to see or talk to the kids. She replaced him with her boyfriend but still expected him to financially support her and the kids.  He did until the last one turned 18 and she now still gets his retirement.  He's done plenty for her and them.  No empathy at all.  How many people get life long alimony for being married for 9 years, cheating on your spouse and leaving your spouse for your boyfriend (who cheated on his spouse and treated her horribly).  [/quote]

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