Reply to She's pregnant - I'm freaking out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm amazed that OP doesn't seem to see the irony.... He says he was messed up by having step-parents in his life, and now he's considering leaving HIS CHILD with half-siblings (who he wasn't really fond of) to be raised by a parade of step-parents too. It's pretty sad, really.[/quote]

So much this.  My kids have suffered because their Dad just isn't committed to being a dad.  OP, you can't do anything to avoid having a less traditional family structure.  If you marry it will be blended.  If you don't marry it will be a split family.

But, you can still be a fully involved father.  Go to court.  Get half custody.  Use all your time.  Develop a cooperative relationship with the Mom.  Be flexible, be supportive of her, pay whatever support and expenses the court mandates and more if your child needs more for some reason (special schools, medical expenses, activities, etc.).  But, don't just write a check and phone it in occasionally.  Nothing could be more hurtful.

Personally, I would recommend that each of you spend at least a full year working on being non-romantic supportive co-parenting partners.  After you are each in your groove as parents separately and together, then you can each think if picking up an intimate partnership is wise.

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