Reply to WWYD? Serious BF dropped a bombshell on me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So things have been getting serious with my BF. Dating 6 months, checks all the right boxes: handsome, intelligent, ambitious, hard worker, kind, etc. My parents and friends adore him. I really thought he was the one. Recently he told me that if he had children, he’d want the mother to quit working and be a SAHM full time. He said it means a lot to him as he had a less than stellar childhood (dad abandoned them, money issues, moved around a lot). Reading between the lines, I guess he wants a chance at a redo? Idk. I didn’t really understand the explanation fully but I do get the sense that it’s a deal breaker. It’s really thrown me though as I don’t see myself SAH.

He’s a great guy. Owns his own business, does well. Very good looking, fit, works out, has charming old fashioned values (opens the door, pays for dates, always calls or texts when he says he is going to, brings my mom flowers, treats his mom like gold, etc.). What to do? I’m 31. My career isn’t everything to me but it does give me an important sense of purpose and identity. Anyone else experience this? How did you handle it? [/quote]

I haven’t read any of the responses but my immediate thoughts would be

- how involved does he intend to be with his children?  Would he plan to abdicate responsibility for anything other than a paycheck because spouse is SAH?  Is the SAH mom doing it all or is there any help involved?  I’m not into being a single mom in all but name only. That would be a dealbreaker for me.
- how would he handle if his wife doesn’t have a social outlet?  How would he be supportive in that regards?  Again, I keep picturing being with the baby all day with no adult interaction while DH is going out to happy hours and interacting with adults all day.
-on the other hand the OP doesn’t know if dual income with two kids and a husband with a demanding job would make you wish you could SAH or if there are other situations where that would make sense.  You could kick this guy to the curb now, and end up changing what you want to do based on how you feel and what else is going on at that time.[/quote]

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