Reply to Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if you choose a particular way, that is hard, but it's the way that is acceptable to you, but not to me. For example, a parent is refusing to accept hired help and you do it yourself. You talk to me about it. I don't offer physical help, only financial. You keep talking about how hard it is. I understand that you need to vent. I hope you don't expect that I will actually help physically. [/quote]

What is someone supposed to do if the parent will not take hired help?  It takes more than financial help, especially if you are only doing something like a few hundred a month.  You have no idea how hard it is.  Step up and be decent and help.  Or hire someone directly to come in and manage it.[/quote]

The parent knows whose buttons he/she can press. While the parent has the power over one sibling no hiring can be done (the parent will not open the door, will not accept food delivery or cleaning service, etc). What do you suggest in such case? [/quote]

When we were in this situation.  What worked for us was to tell the parent that the service was trying to train people and they were looking for someone like herself to help train people to go into people's homes and help them.  We told them that the company was having quite a bit of trouble finding homes that would do this training.  (If money is tight for the parent and you have a bit, you can also offer a small stipend for their "help") Making about the helping someon else was the door in.  [/quote]

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