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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Exactly.

I can't believe people are thinking in this day and age there is any reason to say this word to anyone. It still doesn't take the sting out of used as a derogatory word. So that is not a rationale. [/quote]

I'm surprised that so many people are unfamiliar with the idea that context matters. If we're both members of [group], and I call you [pejorative for that group], then you're going to perceive that differently from if I'm not a member of [group] and I call you [pejorative for that group]. [/quote]

Here's the problem: teens today hear this word in music, rap, etc. all the time and, for them, the word doesn't carry the same connotations that it does for adults.

Parents (our generation) never heard the word in everyday life the way our kids hear it now.  So, I don't think it is surprising that there is a generational shift around this word.  The world moves too fast to expect kids to adhere to our "old-fashioned" rules about who can and can't say this word.  They actually do have diverse friend-groups and plenty of AA kids call their white, asian and latino friends this word as a sign of affection (kind of like, you're one of my crew).  I don't like it any more than anyone else, that that's the reality.

I got this letter and thought the principal handled it well and I liked that he sent a no-tolerance message.  That said, I am a realist and know that this generation does not view this word in the say way we old-fogies do.

BTW, not that it should matter, but bi-racial, upper middle class Bethesda mom here. [/quote]

I get what you are saying.  Just like girls call their other girl friend's b*tches but if a guy calls her that in a derogatory way, it is a massive no no.  The thing is that I don't believe you can have it both ways.  The girls that say that, set the bar really low.  I get teens trying to be cool.  I get that there is a small window in your teen/college years to break the mold with bad words being cool. But you can't sit there and call all your friends that word in a friendly way, sing songs with the word in it,  and then get letters going home about the word being said by someone else the next week.  Are white people not allowed to sing songs with their friends if it has the N word in it?  Too much uncertainty.

I feel like if you want to make the word common in a non and a derogatory way, then you just have to take the derogatory version of it as a typical of saying a$$hole.  The best way to take the sting out of the word is not really to use it as a friendly way so much as not let it affect you in a negative way.   But I don't believe we will ever get that way nor do I ever think we should ever get there. If we did it would be really sad to our ancestors.   I believe the word needs to be taught and told to everyone.  How much of a terrible and demeaning slur it is.  No way is a good way to say it.  But if it continues to go down this path of young people okay it and our elders who were treated like crap pass away, I feel like we are heading down a path of it not meaning much of anything.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/n-word-became-atomic-bomb-racial-slurs/[/quote]

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