Reply to Would you give a second chance?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thinking about what would happen if this went down in my family. Right or wrong, I continue to extend invitations to MIL as if the incident never happened. She's either a personality-disordered nutter, or she was having a really bad day/week/year/life and had an episode that she is embarrassed about. Either way, you come out of it as the graceful, reasonable, inclusive one. Let her behavior speak for itself. Play innocent. [/quote]

The problem with this is that it hurts OPs kids if grandma throws another tantrum at their school.

Seriously,that's really embarrassing for a kid. Think about how you'd feel if someone in your family threw a tantrum at a work party in front of your boss and colleagues... Would you keep inviting them to the holiday party if they embarrassed you last year? it's way worse for a kid. OP being the bigger person shouldn't come at her kid's expense. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

I think the two of you are ignoring the fact that OP and her mom goaded the MIL into crying.  There is nothing kind or "bigger person" about that kind of behavior.[/quote]

Just stop.  Nobody can goad my mom or my mil into crying in public at their grandkids' event excluding a death, terrible news or something. OP is not responsible even if she were "excluding" mil. So gross that anyone would say that is Op's fault. I don't fault the posters saying"be the bigger person" or "think of the long term relationship" or "model kindness to the kids" although I disagree with them in this situation. I think OP's original plan is best and she should work on accepting mil for who she is.  If she is jealous and insecure, examine your role in that but if you are ok with your general behavior, ignore hers without judgement.  [b]Accepting who she is also means not doing things to put yourself and your kids in situations she is likely to spazz at (which is what op is correctly doing imo).[/quote][/b]

"Who she is"? Oh please! She has kids with this guy so presumably she has been married to him for more than a couple of years. If MIL has not behaved like this in the past, this is not who she is. The OP would have mentioned that the MIL had done this several times, and the OP would have been less conflicted about making the decision to take her to only the cider event.

She had a bad day. We all do. Apparently some of you are perfect. The rest of us are mere mortals. Give us a break.[/quote]

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