Reply to Boy is pursuing my DD and won't leave her alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am uncomfortable reading this. Young men need to find out loud and clear that no means no and while I am sure you mean well, I don't think you are teaching your daughter not to tolerate it. She needs to block him, the school needs to betold, and his parents need to be told. This is harassment. This is the beginning of what could turn into sexual assault for someone if this boy isn't taught to stop. If it were my daughter I would be all over this and if she didn't like it, too bad. We adults need to model that harassment of females is NOT okay. As a teacher, I would want to know this was going on to allow everyone to feel safe. If it were my son, I would be horrified and would want to correct him so no woman ever gets attacked or killed because he didn't know what know to respect no for an answer.[/quote]

As a male, what this guy is doing is nothing to what the girls did to me at that age. The girls are much worst.

Op make sure you know what your DD wants. Does she want the attention to stop, does she think this is flirting or creepy, is she asking for help in handling the situation or advice, does she want you involved, etc. If your daughter wants it to stop, she needs to tell the guy he is creeping her out and to stop. She is not interested in him. If he does not stop at that point, something maybe wrong with him. You will need to go to the school admin and get them to take action. This could cause the situation to get more intense, so you will have to stay on top of it. If the genders are reserved, there is nothing the guy can do. People just do not think it is a problem.

. [/quote]

THIS is so, so true.  There was a girl who had a *HUGE* crush on my son.  He liked her as a friend, but that was it.  They were in the same circle of friends, etc. and one night, after a group outing to the movies, he drove her home.  In the car, she said, "So, does this mean we're dating?"  He replied, "NO!  We're not dating!"  He did admit to me that he might have said it too forcefully, but she had been quite clingy and irritating, so he lost his temper a bit.  She freaked out.  After he got home, this girl's sister called him and chewed him out for being so "mean" and "cruel" and then the girl got all her girlfriends to hate my son.  Simply because he told her, unequivocally, that they were not dating.

[b]Let's reverse the genders here.[/b]  If a girl had told the boy, "NO!  We're not dating!" you all would be cheering.  But I suspect many of you will be outraged that my son had the nerve to say that to a girl.  [/quote]

No, let's not. I'm sorry this happened to your son, but the scenario you describe is not typical. You cannot project it more broadly. On the other hand, the scenario of the unrelenting male admirer/stalker is quite common.[/quote]

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