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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids want to feel loved, it is that simple. Think about how many wives are posting(yes, it is almost always women posting here) about DH working too much, spending too much with ILS, never being there for them, and a 12 year old is supposed to be all rational and understand that mom can't spend some time with her, when many grown ups feel resentful in the same situation? And yes, 12 year old will be disorganized and forget to pan a week ahead, that is how most teens are. OP, your DD wants you, she wants to spend time with you, and all the rest is just her lashing out in the only way she knows.[/quote]

Nobody wants a 12 yo to plan a week ahead. But 4 hours would be nice. Not expecting her to think, hey I need to make a plan and not drop stuff on my mom's lap is raising a good kid instead of a brat. Even if I can just drop everything to take my kids somewhere, I expect them to think about it, and take timing/location/etc into consideration.[/quote]

The problem is that teaching this to your 12 yo takes parenting time/effort, which is something OP and her husband aren't prioritizing.[/quote]
This. You reap what you sow. Children who do things like plan ahead, respect their parents' time, be polite with their requests, and so on don't just magically happen. It takes TIME SPENT with said child modelling appropriate/desired behaviors, correcting them when they are rude/etc. and such. Good kids get that way their parents took the time to see it happen.

Raising children who display the traits OP wants require effort. You can't not spend the time teaching your kids these things and then get mad when they don't display them. [/quote]

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