Reply to Rising High School Senior just decided to extend his trip...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this out of character for him? I am curious about how he let you know about his plans..  Did he call you or just send an email?  In any case, take this opportunity to take a deep breath and think about your conversation when he does arrive home. Let your DH take the lead with your son. Sometimes a naggy mom doesn't have the same impact.  It is time for a discussion about respect, trust etc. This would seriously cross the line in my household. While I always supported my 2 boys, they would NEVER inform me of a 6 day vacation change. Don't allow him to pull the "I am an adult" card. Remind him that if he wants to be an adult, his college tuition is HIS responsibility.[/quote]

OP here again and thank you everyone.  Okay - so... 
DS let us know by text.  A sort of "by the way..." and is now unreachable as they are somewhere in rural Sweden with, apparently, no cell service.  I don't believe it but can't prove it.

He totally paid for this trip with his own money.  He had a great summer job and worked hard.

He is not in any fall sport and his schedule is set - but he is senior class president and probably should have been back before school starts to do stuff... but I am not even sure about that.

He is a top student - very responsible with grades/school work and actually very responsible about helping his younger siblings.

He DOES live and eat at home as well as drive our car - but has been tutoring for extra money and hasn't asked us for much since he's been 14.

He will, most likely, get a merit and/or need based scholarship to college.

I am calmer now - thank you all - but just sad.  I miss him.  I feel like he went to college already and he's gone.  I just miss him.  [/quote]

Um. Not to alarm you, but this doesn't seem in line with the responsible kid  you paint him to be. I'd be seeking some confirmation that he and  gf are  okay.[/quote]

Yeah, that sort of thing is totally typical for that age.  They expect to get push back from their parents so they do what they want to do and then avoid, avoid, avoid the parents at all costs (we used to call them "The 'Rents" when I was that age).  [/quote]

It's typical for kids who were raised without respect for their parents. [/quote]

No.  It's typical for kids who are asserting their own independence.  I was taught to really toe the line as a teen and listen to my parents who had my best interests at heart.  But when I hit college age, I started to make decisions for myself w/o running things by them first.  Not every choice I made pleased my parents and looking back some of my choices actually were not the best, but I also owned those choices that I made - they were my choices.

There can be a fine line between a parent guiding their young adult/offering helpful suggestions and a parent micromanaging/deciding things FOR their young adult.  If a parent remains a little too over involved they will get the push back that I'm referring to.  [/quote]

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