Reply to Husband tells me to move out every time we argue

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He knows that he holds all the cards in the relationship.  He has all the money and power right now.  That is no way to live.  He has created a dynamic that is really unhealthy for your relationship and is damaging you as an individual.

When you are in a situation like yours, it is hard to see how much it impacts you.  Your self esteem is quietly eroded away over a period of years.  Soon, you don't even realize how abusive your spouse is being to you because you have been hearing it for so long that it becomes your new normal.

I would encourage you to leave for a little while (probably more than a weekend) and get some perspective.  While having money adds security to your life, the price you are paying for that security is way too high.

You can find happiness.  As the other PPs have said -- Do not have kids with this man.  If you think it is bad now, I guarantee it will be far worse once he criticizes your parenting skills.[/quote]

Agree with this. Also, having kids will add stress to your lives and relationship that you cannot imagine now. If your stress level now is 2 /10, having a child increases to 8 or 9 on a 10 point scale, especially in the first years. If you think his reaction and the way he is treating you is bad now, it will only get substantially worse post pregnancy and kid. So, think hard, if this is what you want for yourself. No need to wait for him to say it one more time and to demonstratively leave at that point, which could only escalate your fight. Be calm and reasonable: if you do decide to leave, meet with a lawyer to find out specific details on your circumstances, find a place to live, and then and only then, pack up your things and leave, with no drama. My sister when through somewhat similar experience. She left, rented a studio on her own, and lived for about a year. That really jilted her husband to try to work on their marriage and to stop taking her so much for granted, and worked to win her back. She returned to live together, and while it's not all roses, things have improved. Now, it's not necessary that your dh would act the same and try to change so you come back, may be he's given up and is too passive to do the active step of moving out himself. [/quote]

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