Reply to Is anyone raising a teen diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And if the parenting is so bad such that the child is diagnosed with ODD, how do you suppose that suddenly they will be good enough to master your espoused approach?  It doesn't work that way.  The child made his or her way into an ODD diagnosis because of environmental factors such as poor parenting.  ODD is not a biologic condition, it is behavioral, and behavior is shaped by parents.[/quote]

It can work that way, thank heavens.   Parents who have a child who is extremely oppositional are not (necessarily) bad at parenting, and very likely are doing a great job with their non ODD children.  But it takes exceptional parenting skills to parent a child with symptoms of ODD.   They don't "suddenly" become good at it -- it takes training, and learning specific skills.  
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Or you can be crappy parents with some children who internalize the trauma and stress and seem "good." Whereas the "ODD" child externalizes the dysfunction and becomes the family's identified patient. I actually think my "ODD" brother ended up better off than the siblings who kept it bottled up inside and then ended up struggling with depression, anxiety, drinking, bad relationships, as young adults. [/quote]

You keep talking about your own family and projecting your personal experiences onto every other family. Have you considered therapy for your own issues? ODD is NOT caused by deficient parenting, but you just don't get it because your judgment has been clouded.
Sad. I feel sorry for you and hope you get the help you need.[/quote]

I don't doubt that there may be some kids for whom the label of ODD is appropriate and helpful.  My only point is that in a disorder inherently related to the environment, any competent therapist needs to first look to the environment to see if the environment is dysfunctional, not the child.  [/quote]

http://www.aamft.org/iMIS15/AAMFT/Content/consumer_updates/child_abuse_and_neglect.aspx

"Children who suffer abuse and neglect are often diagnosed with: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Conduct Disorder (CD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and depressive and anxiety related disorders. Some will act out sexually or be sexually abusive to others."[/quote]

You're taking one potential piece of the picture and trying to make it the entire picture for every single kid. You refuse to accept that on some cases, the parenting is good but the kid's problems stem from internal issues like anxiety and depression.[/quote]

Alright then the kid has anxiety or depression. Not ODD.[/quote]

You don't understand much about psychology, do you? Or you have a personal need to ignore all possible causes besides parenting.[/quote]

I think you don't understand much about psychology. All you can say is that ODD is a symptom of anxiety and depression. That makes no sense. A symptom is not a disease. You sound like you're invested in displacing your family dysfunction on your child and calling him ODD. [/quote]

Neither of my kids has ODD, or even close. I've just been watching you and your personal need to find parental rather than internal causes.[/quote]

"Watching me"?  What does that mean?  That sounds creepy.  Are you creepy?

My personal experience does in fact contribute to my viewpoint on this.  But, it's also supported by research  (all the links I posted above), plus common sense.  And at any rate, I don't deny at all that there may be some kids for whom the label fits, or at least is useful because it helps guide the parents to appropriate treatment (which of course includes their own parenting skills -- also belying your claim that it's a phenomenon totally internal to the child).  My main point is that ODD is likely very over-diagnosed; and that there's no way you can competently diagnose ODD without taking a close look at the family dynamic, existence of trauma, poor parenting, or abuse.  I wonder why that makes you defensive?

[/quote]

Jeez, Louise. I never said it was "totally internal" to the child. I was just pushing back against your claim that it's totally down to the parents, cherry-picked stories aside.

You're the defensive one, sweetie. You seem like a real piece of work--snarky and blaming others. Are your parents responsible for this?

My kids are doing great, thanks for asking. I'm just bored and tired of your self-serving attacks on others. 
[/quote]

Do you have anything substantive to contribute? Because I've contributed personal experience and a wealth of links substantiating my points.  Plus, overall, I agree that ODD can be an actual diagnosis in some selective cases.  It sounds like you're just annoyed at the thought that parents could ever be responsible for their child's behavior.  [/quote]

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