Reply to An explanation and request from a mom of a kid with autism

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I don't understand why you would not apologize to another adult if your child spat at them.  You don't owe them any explanation of his medical history, a simple "sorry" would do the trick.  Then move on.   [/quote]

Dude obviously I do this. You're being deliberately obtuse.

I say sorry. I avoid crowded parks. I follow him. I help him facilitate social situations. We do thousands of hours of therapy. But the kid looks normal and is of normal intelligence and has normal speech. So people have zero tolerance of him doing odd things. I mentioned spitting. Others are pouring out water or making odd noises. Honestly things that don't affect people. I'm sorry if blowing rasbwperroes is offensive but we have enough fish to fry that I may not be making the huge deal do it you think I should be. I'm not asking for special accommodations. I'm asking for tolerance. Also if I tell you he has autism I'm not asking for an excuse.  Unless he hurt your or did something really wrong, I don't need one. It's an explanation.

This entire thereaf just hits home how deep the refusal to be understanding truly is. You all deliberately misconstrued what I was saying to tell me about how you didn't have to. And special accommodations or how I was failing at parenting. Not it at all. People refuse to make reasonable choices on tolerance. If it was a kid with an obvious disability you'd all be falling. Over yourselves to demonstrate understanding. So ridiculous. [/quote]

Get a grip.  You say, "the kid looks normal and is of normal intelligence and has normal speech," so people who don't know him think he is a typical kid.  (Also, what parent of a SN kid uses "normal?")  They obviously don't know that you "have enough fish to fry that I may not be making the huge deal" over blowing raspberries at other people, for example.  But for a typical kid, that is rude behavior, and I'd be annoyed if a kid did it (especially repeatedly) and his parent didn't correct him.  Same with other behavior that isn't violent or aggressive, but could fairly be considered rude.

You are not asking for tolerance, you are asking for other parents to be mind readers.  That's ridiculous.  If your kid is being rude, and you choose (for perfectly valid reasons) to not correct him, it is not others' responsibility to divine the reasons for your inaction.

Or are you suggesting that if a kid is acting in a rude way, and his or her parent is present and doesn't intervene, that another parent should reproach the kid at all?  That we should assume any rude behavior is the result of an ASD diagnosis and [b]just let it go?[/b]  [/quote]

If the other parent is there, yes, let it go. It's not your business.  If it's truly disruptive to you or your child, talk to the parent. [/quote]

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