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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I totally get it.  In my family, we gather at my brother's lake house.  My 2 sisters and I are expected (by my father and my brother) to buy all the food, cook, and clean the kitchen.  Drives me nuts!

I spend a fortune on airfare to get there.  My brother has 3 teenagers who eat a lot and are slobs.  My Dad is just very old school and believes the woman (his daughters) should do this as a thank you to my brother for providing the house.

Tends not to be the funnest vacation because I am so annoyed.

So what to do?  What should you do?

In your situation, I'd send an email that you were going to do the initial stocking of the house and that you will let everyone know how much it was.  Then when you have the #, simply tell everyone how much they owe preferably via email again.  Explain how you divided it up and then state that you and SIL should split the parent's portion.

(I kind of liked the PP's suggestion on how to divide the cost, adults more than kids, etc....)

But the point is that by sending an email to your SIL about what she owes is all you should have to do to feel better about it.  She will not pay and that is ok.

I have found that speaking up about I believe to be fair is usually enough for me to feel ok about something.  Putting it in writing simply makes the request more concrete.

She will not pay you and that is ok.  Her choice.  You made your position known and hopefully that should be enough to make you feel less annoyed.

In regards to your DH, hopefully, he will be ok with the fact that you are willing to do all the shopping and ask for their part via email but be ok if they don't pay.

Tell him you need to ask at least to not feel angry or annoyed at SIL.

Good luck OP.  [/quote]

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