Reply to Optimistic that I am going to fix my "default parent" situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems like there are some women on this board who find it no big deal to work, order groceries, cook, clean, make all the medical appointments, bring the kids to the appointments, find backup care for days school is closed, leave work early when the nurse calls saying your kid has a fever, buy gifts for other kids' birthdays, plan your own kid's birthday party, get the car fixed, research summer camps, buy the kids' clothes and shoes and coats and backpacks, pack snacks, bring your kid to speech therapy, sign them up for swimming lessons, keep track of permission slips, and sign up to chaperone field trips. Etc. If that's you, awesome! But for some of us mortals it is a lot and we would like our partners to share the load. [/quote]

Full disclosure, I don't do all those things. I actively sought out a spouse who I knew would be an equal partner and I'm just wondering why others didn't.  That's why this version of scorekeeping seems so wacky to me. [/quote]

I also don't do all those things myself, and I also sought a spouse who I knew would be an equal-enough partner, or at least someone who paid close attention to details and knew how to get things done effectively.  Which is why I'm the PP above-board that said to go to therapy if your husband is a disappointment.  [/quote]

This is the OP again. My husband is not a Neanderthal, and we did start our relationship with an equal distribution of labor. But it has gotten skewed over time, especially after we had kids and he for awhile worked much longer hours. Now we work about the same hours but I still do more of the work, especially kid-related. We haven't really talked about who does what in years for whatever reason. The elaborate chart is my way of having that conversation in a concrete way. I am a spreadsheet-loving person and my DH appreciates that. So this approach might not work for everyone, but I think it will for us. [/quote]

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