Reply to 5th Grade DD and boyfriend texting "I love you", WTF?

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Reply to "5th Grade DD and boyfriend texting "I love you", WTF?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Well, yes, of course my kid can't get a cell phone on his own as he doesn't have that kind of money, among other reasons. So that's a given. But when people say "if you don't let your kid date, they will do it anyway behind your back, so you may as well agree to it" - that is what I disagree with. I will not allow or condone things that I don't think are in my child's best interest out of fear that I'd be encouraging sneaking and lying. That is not a given and not my expectation. [b]Parents characterize it as if they can't expect more than that so they may as well not set themselves or their children up for failure[/b]. I'm not saying it won't happen, but I will not lower my expectations for fear of disappointment.[/quote]

There's a difference between "I expect you not to have a boyfriend/girlfriend" and "You may not have a boyfriend/girlfriend". One is an expectation, the other is a rule. And furthermore, it's a rule that the parent can't reasonably enforce. And any kid with any sense knows that the parent can't reasonably enforce it.

If you want to make rules that you can't reasonably enforce, then ok. I don't think it's a good idea in any context, but everybody gets to make their own decision about that.

But to conclude that parents who don't want to make rules about a given subject also give up on setting expectations about that subject -- that's just empirically false. Maybe some parents do, but plenty of parents don't. [/quote]

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