Reply to 5th Grade DD and boyfriend texting "I love you", WTF?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a 5th grade son. I can't speak about the girls - they typically move faster - but none of the boys in his class has a phone, and he doesn't ask for one. No interest. 7th grade? Yes. I have one of those, too. There is a HUGE difference between an 11 year old and a 13 year old. Though he's not allowed to date either.

Dating at 11/12? Hell to the no. Go right ahead and call me a helicopter mom and just try to convince me I'm encouraging my child to lie and sneak behind my back. You're saying more about yourself, your child, and your worldview when you say that. [b]I absolutely love when parents say that by saying no to something, you're making your kids lie and do it behind your back.[/b] If that's how you approach parenting, then I imagine that is truth for you. What kind of headlock do your tweens have you in?! [/quote]

It depends on what you say "no" to, doesn't it? If a parent says no to a fifth-grade kid getting a cell phone, the kid isn't going to lie and get a cell phone behind the parent's back. If a parent says no to a fifth-grade kid hanging out with a friend the parent doesn't like, it's quite possible that the kid is going to lie and hang out with the friend the parent doesn't like.[/quote]

Well, yes, of course my kid can't get a cell phone on his own as he doesn't have that kind of money, among other reasons. So that's a given. But when people say "if you don't let your kid date, they will do it anyway behind your back, so you may as well agree to it" - that is what I disagree with. I will not allow or condone things that I don't think are in my child's best interest out of fear that I'd be encouraging sneaking and lying. That is not a given and not my expectation. Parents characterize it as if they can't expect more than that so they may as well not set themselves or their children up for failure. I'm not saying it won't happen, but I will not lower my expectations for fear of disappointment.[/quote]

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