Reply to Girlfriend is demanding that we get married and have a baby ASAP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, has your girlfriend ever indicated before that she'd like to have another child?

If not (and this is the first time you are hearing about this), then I think it's unfair of her to put pressure on you, given the relationship started out casual and you had no clue there was a time limit (i.e., that she was hoping to have another baby and, given her age, would need to act soon).

I would ask her if this was her intention all along or if she only recently realized she wanted another baby.

If she knew all along that is what she wanted, then, despite how you feel about her, I would be very cautious about continuing a relationship with her b/c it sounds like from the start she had intentions she wasn't open about.

No matter what age you are, you don't date a person for a year with no mention of wanting to marry or have children some day and then suddenly give them a "it's now or never" talk.

Regardless, if you are not ready, then you are not ready.  The best thing you can do for her is be honest about that.[/quote]

oh please. no sane woman is going to say "I want to have a baby" on the first date. it sounds desperate and crazy. Iran not something you share with a near stranger.[/quote]

Of course, I don't think she should say "I want to have a baby" on the first date.  But you're talking about two adults nearing 40, both single parents at this point.  Somewhere in the early stages she could have at least indicated that marriage and more children were things she still hoped were options -- especially if she was going to sing the "there's no time to waste!" tune.  It sounds like if she would have even suggested that remarrying was something she wanted, it sounds like OP wouldn't have kept dating and she could have moved on to someone who is also looking to marry and have kids.

Heck, even 6 months in, she could've said something.[/quote]

why? [b]pretty much all women want marriage and most want children of they are not too old or already have them.[/b] unless she vehemently denied wanting to have children she said all she needed to say.[/quote]

First of all, that's not true.

Second of all, she TOLD OP in the beginning that she had no interest in remarrying or having more children.

Third, she already has a child, so she doesn't even fit your weird rule.[/quote]

no she didn't say that. she basically implies she had no expectations from the relationship. that might have been true but [b]mature women don't really enter relationships where there is no potential whatsoever for marriage and maybe children.[/b] maybe OP married young and didn't learn that lesson. but all women from now on who agree to date him will have marriage and maybe kids at the back of their minds. nobody but a total [b]whacko wastes time with relationships which are not going anywhere[/b].[/quote]

Not all women want marriage.  Not all women want kids.  And certainly, plenty of women who were married (and it didn't work) and had kids aren't looking to marry again and/or have more kids.

Plenty of "mature women" don't want marriage and certainly don't want kids.

[b]But one thing that mature women do is they don't play games.[/b]

As for your last comment, not all people are looking for relationships to go somewhere.  Some people like relationships in and off themselves!  You know, they like companionship.  They like -- gasp -- sex.  They like affection.  They may not want more than those things.

Who are you to say they're whacko?  Look at the divorce rate.  Look at all of the unhappy marriages.  Look at the financial setbacks people deal with when they divorce in their 40s and 50s.  Yes, there are some people over 35 who aren't looking to go down that road.  They want a relationship, but they don't want financial and legal entanglement, especially if they've been through that before.

OP wasn't wrong to believe what the woman told him -- that she didn't want to remarry.  [/quote]

hahahaha

mature women know how to "play games" which really amounts to having social skills to not blurt out things that turn other people off. "not playing games" is an aspiration for an 18 year old, not someone who is 40.[/quote]

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