Reply to Why do people who have kids literally drop off the face of the earth?

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Reply to "Why do people who have kids literally drop off the face of the earth?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have three little kids, and I think that people who claim they are too busy to socialize are ridiculous.  People think they are way busier than they are.  Almost no one is too busy to get dinner or a drink with a friend once every couple of weeks.  It is literally a few hours a month.  I'm sure all of these people are watching several hours of TV a week.

And these suggestions that the hanging out should include kids or families is also ridiculous.  I really think that this pervasive idea that you are too busy for any socializing or hobbies, and that all free time should be spent at work or  at home is the source of a lot of stress and unhappiness these days.[/quote]

Yeah but if you have more than 4 different friends, once a month with each friend turns into more than once a week going out with a friend. Assuming your spouse has friends too, that's two family nights a week down the drain.  Add in a sports practice (adults or kids), book club, hanging out with neighbors, visiting family, and hopefully date night with your spouse, and it quickly turns into a rarity to be able to sit down as a nuclear family and have dinner at the table. I think it's understandable how someone could wind up seeing a particular friend once every few months as opposed to once every few weeks. [/quote]

This.  Only one parent can go out at a time, and then you have date night, school events, family.  Also, OP, you may be lucky enough not to have this problem, but mid 30s and 40s is when our own parents start having health problems and needing more help.  Work-- have to make up time from all those kid sick days, and have to earn enough money to support the kids.  They may also have new friends (either parent friends or just friends) that they enjoy and want to spend time with.  Or they're trying to have a baby and need to stay in.  Or the wife is pregnant and feels like crap so the dad needs to pull more weight.

Of course, it's probably that they just don't like you enough to make the time.  After I had a kid, some people just didn't make the cut.  But the kid was just a socially acceptable reason- I wish I had stepped out of those relationships a long time before.[/quote]

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