Reply to Sexless Marriages

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Sexless Marriages"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But why does it need to be an affair?  Why not just have an honest conversation about needs and come to a multiplayer understanding about finding a solution.  If your spouse sucks at gardening and doesn't have the interest, you get a lawn service.  If you need help with childcare, you get a nanny.  Why is there a deep taboo about getting a lover? [/quote]

I hear this line all the time - it's a corollary or variation of "it's not the sex, it's the lying that upsets me so much".  Bull.  It absolutely is the sex....every bit as much as the lying. People throw out this notion that if somehow you were just completely honest and above board it would be hunky dory, and people would quickly come to an "oursourcing" open-relationship solution.

Except not.  The vast majority of people - men or women - would not be OK with allowing their spouse to have sex with other people.  Sex is a degree of intimacy that you simply don't come close to with playing tennis or watching the kids or weeding the garden.  People have sex and they tend to catch feelings.  Very very few people are cut out for "sharing" their spouse sexually.

The reason people have affairs (cheat, lie) is because they know the answer would be "NO" if they asked legitimately for permission.

The reasons they seek sex outside their relationships are wide and varied, but the reason it is done surreptitiously is very very simple.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics