Reply to She bad mouthed me to my husband and he's angry and weirded out

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Reply to "She bad mouthed me to my husband and he's angry and weirded out"

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[quote=Anonymous]I can tell you that if I was in your husband's shoes it would be a real gut punch that would be hard to get over. Finding out you were less than honest about your past (even if its only a lie of omission) coupled with your unwillingness to share yourself with him the way you did with the previous guys, would be a betrayal and insult rolled into one. Both of the most personal kind. Add to that the fact that he feels like a fool and this is a bad situation.

I think you have to be completely honest with him and answer any questions as forthrightly as possible if you want him to trust you again. If you don't, if you evade or give coy half truths and the whole truth is ever revealed, there really will be no recovery. Ever. And if he thinks you are withholding info, he may bury his feelings and try to get over it, but the fester will still be there, just deeper and the subject will come back again and again.

The example about the prior romantic relationships is an excellent one and most of the women saying its his problem to get over have not addressed that question. If your husband never bought you flowers or wrote you sweet notes and you found out he'd written poems to his former lovers and met their every emotional need, but he doesn't do any of that for you, you wouldn't be so cavalier about bygones being bygones.

There's fun stuff your husband wants to do. You've done it. But you won't do it with him and you won't let him do it with someone else. That seems kind of selfish. And all these throwaway guys got the benefit of your enthusiasm but your husband is the stable, dependable workhorse who is unworthy of these acts. This is what it feels like to him. Damn, I feel bad for your husband.

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