Reply to When did you realize you didn't like your mom (or dad)?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "When did you realize you didn't like your mom (or dad)?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think my kids have started to realize they hate their father. Not sure how they feel about me. We have a dysfunctional marriage.  They are 12 and 15. Wish I could get in their heads. Wonder what they'd say if asked this question.....[/quote]

You should try to have a less dysfunctional relationship with their father and you should try to mend their relationship - speak positives about him to them and try to get him to find ways to have more positive time with his kids. You're messing up your kids lives lady.[/quote]

So you are saying the dysfunctional relationship is all my fault?  I am holding on for dear life and friends and family tell me everyday how strong I am and that the kids need me.  I am not going into the details of the marriage and why I stay versus go - but I was just sharing .....[/quote]

I can see why you have a dysfunctional relationship. You are hypersensitive and/or have a martyr complex.

The PP did not say ANYTHING about it being your fault. But - since you're the one on here saying that the kids hate their father - the PP was saying that YOU should try to mend the relationship the kids have with their father so that the kids can have a healthy relationship with their father. Also - instead of saying that you stay for the kids - or whatever ridiculous excuse you want to come up with - you should LEAVE.

You have a self-admitted dysfunctional family. What you are doing right now - is modeling to your children - that this is OKAY. That the family dynamic that they see is OKAY - and it is NOT. Your kids deserve to see a healthy relationship. They deserve to see a relationship where two people love each other, know how to communicate, and have a good relationship.

SHAME ON YOU![/quote]

Stop, you are shaming this women and you have no idea what you are talking about.[/quote]

I don't know this woman. But I am taking her words.

She states - we have a dysfunctional family and I am worried that the kids hate their father and possibly me... That is what she said.

Any parent that is worried that their kids hate them both, because of the dysfunction that they bring into their home - are shameful. I don't care what the situation is.

I am so tired of hearing about people talking about how they stay for the kids.

That is a cop out. It's bullshit.

If you truly cared about the kids - you would want to set an example that will allow them to have healthy, happy relationships in their own adult lives.[/quote]

NP. Agree that you need to stop now. You know zip about this woman and her marriage.

Just because top PP isn't spilling her marital woes to you doesn't mean she isn't making the best calls she can. Like you, I don't know PP's situation, but I can imagine reasons why she stays. I was in a similar situation. I stayed in a bad marriage because I knew the law would give XDH equal custody and I feared that XDH would continue to mentally abuse our son in ways that would have been impossible to document in court to the extent necessary to get full custody. Two years after DH left, I have to practically force (in a friendly, non-judgy way, of course) the kids to spend any time at all with him. But XDH's awful relationship with the kids is not my fault, it's his fault, and I can't "fix" it just by saying "nice things about him." Just like how PP can say good things about her DH but she can't fix her DH's relationship with his kids if he's not changing his own behavior to them.

Your commands and demands on her show both your arrogance and your ignorance about her situation. As an aside, your cursing and overuse of caps, and your obvious hyper-sensitivity to PP's criticism, make you seem just a little unhinged.
[/quote]

Unhinged? God - another DCUM troll - why do you all use the word unhinged? You would think that you could find something original.

As for your post - really? You come off like a person who took this a little personally, because you are trying to justify staying in a bad marriage and rationalized it by saying to yourself that you were doing it for your child.

I feel bad for your kid.

Actually - PP did say that her marriage was dysfunctional - not the father's relationship with the kids - she said that her marriage was dysfunctional, and as a result, her kids might hate their father, and also her.

So, if you could actually understand what you read, instead of falling all over your own guilt, you might ascertain that mommy and daddy fight a lot, and as a result, kids don't like either of them.

So, hey, way to try and justify that nonsense.

I feel so sorry for kids who grow up in dysfunctional homes and they only get to witness the very worst of relationships and they grow up with the idea that relationships are about yelling, and fighting, and hate. It takes so much for these children to overcome what they were raised with and figure out on their own how to have healthy, happy, relationships.[/quote]

I pity your ex AND your kids. What a self-serving, self-justifying, tone-deaf battle-axe.

Go away.[/quote]

I guess I am really confused as how you justify your behavior and your life.

You and your DH have a self-admitted dysfunctional marriage, which you also admit creates resentment from your child, but you think you are doing the right thing by staying together... You are doing that for the kid.

Let me repeat that, since you don't seem to be able to read well.

1. My marriage is dysfunctional
2. My children are learning to hate their father and quite possibly me because of the dysfunctional marriage

But, somehow, us staying together, is in the best interest of the kids.

Am I missing something?[/quote]

Well, my mom revealed that staying together was better for my brother but worse for me and she decided to protect my brother.  This choice certainly had repercussions for my relationship with her, but it was one belonging to Solomon.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics