Reply to DH mad I asked him not to

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are SO many things wrong with gender communications.  OP, if you're smart and don't want a dead bedroom like most the people giving you advice , I suggest you approach this with an open mind.  He's likely shutting you out because you're miles away from what he thinks the problem is.  It engulfs him in grief to think he should have to spell out common courtesy to you.

Usually what upsets me most in these scenarios is that I'm an adult.  I'm capable of making my own decisions.  I love my spouse.  Yet my spouse is talking to me like I don't care about her feelings and that I'm not capable of deciding when thinks are appropriate and taking her best interest in my decision making process also.

For example 
DONT touch me !!!   Like wtf.  You invalidating me as a person when you make a demand like that , ignoring my desires.   I don't need you snapping like that.   
You should acknowledge him.   "Hey honey, I love the effection.  It just creeps me in front of our child.

If he left the house.  He is super hurt and pissed that you don't trust his judgements.   If you want a marriage and not a roommate ,  sincerely apologize to him and ignore the old hags here that have already ruined their marriages.

[/quote]

What absolute rubbish! Who starts grabbing like that in front of a kid?  OP, your DH is a petulant child and you treated him just as he deserved it. And it is not "effection" it is affection.  Do not take advice from people who have no clue what intimacy and marriage is about.  You are not an object to be handled by him like a toy. All these pps saying he is right are making me so sad for where most women are still when it comes to their self esteem and valuing themselves as independent persons.[/quote]

You're insane and probably either divorced because you're a cold woman or have been cheated on because you're only capable of emoting anger.

[b]There is nothing wrong with her husband trying to instigate sex with his wife.[/b]  Unless you're expected to be roommates.  With this comes the non-sexual touching too, but if the intimacy is fine, expect non-intimate touch to also decline or stop completely.  Yes, they both needed to communicate better, but there is no problem in expecting sex from your spouse whether you're the man or the woman.  In reality, when people get married there is an expectation that sex is part of the deal.  If it's not - and it's not medical - then one spouse has effectively broken the agreement.  This can be fixed but if one spouse refuses, then there is no other option than to leave or conduct an affair.  One choice is better as far as the courts of public opinion and law are concerned, but my sympathy usually lies with the spouse being turned down constantly and in a sexless marriage.

Sex is important.  If you found out your husband had lunch with another woman one day you wouldn't leave him.  If you found out he started to value this other woman's opinion over yours and had feelings you wouldn't leave him.  The minute sex is involved (to include things like nude photos) all bets are off.  If sex is important enough to nuke a marriage if your husband gets it elsewhere, it's important enough to address and come to an arrangement.  [/quote]

Dude, the thing you are missing is that she asked him not to grope her breasts IN FRONT OF THEIR CHILD. She didn't say "Don't ever touch me sexually again." She didn't say "We are just going to be roommates from now on." She said she didn't feel like it was appropriate for him to just reach over and fondle her breasts while they were sitting there watching TV. Until you have more information that rejection is happening elsewhere, you work with the facts in front of you. The facts in front of you say that she made a fairly reasonable request but used a snippy tone, and then despite trying to talk to him about it later, he continued acting like a jerk.

You need to learn to stop projecting your own issues onto other people's situations, or learn better reading comprehension, or both.[/quote]

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